Stupid things I do even though I know better

+ // Buy the big bag of chips, although I know I can’t stop. (side eye at the empty cheese puffs bag)

+ // Listen to R when he says he will be home in an hour. I’m the first person he’s ever had to keep updated on his whereabouts, and for some reason he’s under the illusion that giving an arbitrary time frame is better than no time frame at all, even if I don’t ask for one. I’ve come to understand that a night out with the lads when I get a text saying “I’ll be home before 1” means “only start to worry if it’s daylight out”

+ // Stay in bed “to wake up slowly” after R has gone to work. No, I will fall back asleep, wake up some time around 10 not feeling any more rested, and have wasted the morning.

+ // On that note-- telling myself that “just one more” Gilmore Girls episode won’t hurt. That’s completely incorrect. One turns into 4 and before I know it I’m on season 6 and have done nothing productive, including showered and it’s 5pm. Oops.

+ // Furthermore-- look at Pinterest when I’m not looking for something specific. I may as well just mark “productivity” off the list of things to do today, although browsing other people’s productivity and creativity does make me feel mildly accomplished.

+ // Get very embarrassed when people point out my accent. I have a tendency to pick up the accent of whoever is around me, although I’m terrible at actually putting on accents. When I first moved to the Island people got very excited about my American accent and ask me to just talk, but now that I’ve moved down south I’ve been complimented tons on my “beautiful Belfast accent.” It was the worst when I was a flight attendant and flew with different crews every trip, I could come home sounding like anything from a Southern Bell to a Valley Girl.

+ // Click on all those “She put fresh cream in a blender, you’ll never guess what happens next!” posts on Facebook. I know what happens, she gets whipped cream. I’m always disappointed, but for some reason I do it anyway. Thank God Macs aren’t plagued with spammy popups as easily as PCs are.

+ // Have the extra cup of tea after 7. The caffeine in coffee doesn’t really have an effect on me, but for some reason tea of all kinds (sweet tea at home, hot tea with milk here) keeps me going for hours.

+ // Making sure I always have the last word in a disagreement. Doesn’t matter how insignificant it is, or if it will make everything worse. I MUST FINISH IT.

Writing this list has made me realize that my procrastination skills in my personal life are STRONG. Maybe I could include them on my resume?

What way do you combat your inner sloth?

Ode to my lip balm

image via weheartit


Oh, eos. You certainly captured America's heart over the past couple years, haven't you? With your wide array of lip balms in an assortment of flavours and cute little packaging you have been thrown into our bags and collections have been stored on display on our vanities. You've had many try to imitate-- especially globally, but none come close. *side eye at you-- boots.* In my many years of fandom, I've come across only two ways in which you fall slightly short of the perfection you deserve.


One is this-- your tangerine medicated flavour. Why, oh why, did you make the best formula also the best flavour? I am one who is cursed with chapped lips any time the weather changes, as are many. While your medicated balm is quite literally the only that can sooth my pain, it must be reapplied almost instantly as it's so damn tasty. I can't help it, like a kid in a candy shop I am a supposed adult addicted to lip balm. Its a cruel, vicious circle and without the constant struggle I am destined to look like the Joker. And not the eccentric Jack Nicholson Joker with intentional red lips, but the completely fucked Heath Ledger Joker slicing his face open. The kind where I get those looks that say "I want to look away, but I just can't, its like a train wreck." Don't even let me get started on how it looks if I try to wear lipstick during this time...


So almost immediately upon opening, your Tangerine medicated balm is almost empty. Can I turn to my Sweet Mint or Summer Fruit? No, because they don't have that extra oomph. Sure they're great during all other times of the year when the weather is consistent, but not now. This brings me to my second point...

WHY OH WHY ARE YOU NOT AVAILABLE HERE?

What did America do to deserve sole custody? Sure, we've got online stores and Amazon isn't hesitating to price gouge for the privilege but must I request your inclusion in all my care packages? You'd make a killing across the Atlantic! Just think, instead of charging $3, you can charge €3 or better yet £3 and you'd still be both the most effective and one of the most inexpensive on the market!  Seriously though, do you need a spokesperson? I'm your gal. Hell, I'll even go without you for a week so I can take truly terrifying before and after photos. 

Anyway, all of that to say that I'm out of my eos tangerine and it's the saddest thing to happen all day, as well as the most exciting because lets face it- who wants to hear about me applying for jobs? Cover letters are boring, and trying to beef up a resume because in the US your pushed to keep it to one page and everywhere else they want at least two pages of detail. Ah, such is life.

On the subject of pants

While I was looking for different decorations and style inspirations for our new apartment, I stumbled upon this print that I LOVE AND MUST HAVE.

source: Jenna Kutcher

However, I face a conundrum. During my time on this lovely emerald isle I've caught on pretty easily to the colloquialisms, but there are a couple Americanisms I still have that always catch people off-guard. The main one is the word "pants." In my simple American brain, pants are anything other than denim that you put on your legs, over your undies. Yoga pants, sweatpants, work pants... all these make sense with my definition. The only that doesn't? Underpants. The problem lies in that one word. On this side of the Atlantic the term "pants" is only used in reference to your undies. This makes some reactions to statements I've made over the past year or so much more understandable, but awkward.

For example:

 If a new friend is coming over and you say "just text me when you're on your way so I know to put on pants?" Totally TMI.

Exclaiming "pants off dance off" at a party give people the idea that you're an exhibitionist. 

Calling someone a "fancy-pants?" You are far too interested in their undergarments. 

You know, I've pretty much mastered the rest of the vocabulary. I'm getting used to different accents, I can switch from fries to chips with ease (and scones are savoury while biscuits are sweet instead of the other way around). I say "cheers" without thinking twice about it, we wear jumpers when its cold, and my boyfriend annually shops for football boots-- not soccer cleats. However, "pants" is the one word I just can't shake but gets me the most odd looks, what gives?